


It's a good way to go

by TetrodotoxinB



Series: MCU Kink Bingo 2017 [12]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bingo Square: sexting, Dirty Talk, F/M, Innuendo, Sexting, drunken propositions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-08 02:21:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12854679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TetrodotoxinB/pseuds/TetrodotoxinB
Summary: Sam just wants to have dinner. Nat has something else in mind. It's a little bit of convincing, but some things are better than dinner.





	It's a good way to go

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by the lovely and wonderful [CaptBarnes](http://archiveofourown.org/users/captbarnes/pseuds/captbarnes).

_What are you doing? -NR_

Sam was not in the mood for whatever Nat was trying to con him into. He was hungry, and Steve left him hanging.

_Do you know where Steve is? -SW_

_I sent him on an errand. Why? -NR_

Sam read the message and sighed. Was she being intentionally vague? That was a stupid question. Of course she was.

_He left an hour ago to get hamburger buns and hasn’t come back yet - SW_

_My bad -NR_

Sam sighed again and rolled his eyes before sending off the next text. 

_Do you know when he’s coming back? I’m ready to eat dinner. Do I need to go get the buns myself? -SW_

_I’ve got some buns you can have -NR_

Sam stared at his phone. She had to mean bread. Absolutely, positively had to mean bread. There was no goddamn way Natasha Romanov was implying that.

_Can you bring them over? You can have one of Steve’s burgers since he disappeared on me -SW_

_Mmm I don’t know. I think these are too good for burgers. -NR_

Jesus fucking Christ. Sam tossed his phone on the counter and stalked out of the kitchen. He jammed his feet into his shoes and snagged his wallet off the end table by the door. _Fuck this cryptic shit_ , he decided. He figured he had better walk to the store and get these damn hamburger buns himself.

He found it satisfying in a cynical kind of way, when he returned with buns in hand, to an empty apartment. No Steve and no Nat to bother him. He made a burger and hid the buns above the fridge. Let Steve buys his own goddamn buns if he wanted any.

Feeling pleased with his pettiness, Sam went to sit in front of the TV and watch some basketball. He was halfway through his burger when his phone dinged. He set his plate on the coffee table and walked into the kitchen. 

There were four messages waiting. All from Nat.

_They’re more like hotdog buns -NR_

_I bet you’ve got a hotdog that needs a bun -NR_

_Oh baby did i run you off -NR_

_Sam? -NR_

Sam sighed and reread the messages. She wasn’t offering any actual bread products, that much was obvious. What exactly she was offering remained to be seen.

_I went to the store for some damn buns. I left my phone -SW_

He ignored the rest of her implications and hoped for the best -- not that he was sure what the best was. In any case, the reply was immediate. 

_Oh good. So do you want my hotdog buns? -NR_

Jesus Christ, Romanov. Sam was half tempted to call some friends, get her a bag of weed and a bag of cheetos, and drop them off for her. _Something_ to calm her down.

_You’re drunk Nat -SW_

_Not as drunk as you think I am. Besides, why do you think I got rid of Steve for the next few hours? -NR_

Holy sweet Jesus. Alright then. He had gotten worse propositions. Of course, they were less dangerous too, but where was the fun in that?

_So what do you want from me? -SW_

He might have been interested, but he wasn’t dumb enough to just outright assume that he had been reading this right.

_You’ve been flirting with me from the moment you first laid eyes on me. Don’t be dense. I’ll be over in 15. -NR_

_Woah. Easy there Nat. Why don’t you tell me what you want? -SW_

_That’s easy. Sex -NR_

Knowing was half the battle. Sam couldn’t deny that she was right about him watching her, but damned if this was how he saw it happening between them. And being honest with himself, there were definitely parts of him that were completely on board. Other parts were still thinking this over — namely his survival instinct. 

Sam thought for too long because Nat sent another text before he could reply.

_Don’t tell me I scared you off? -NR_

Goddammit Romanov. She was definitely on his “respect like your life depends on it” list, but he wasn’t a scared kid. 

_No I was just deciding how I wanted you. How do you like it? -SW_

_Well for one, I’d like to see you use those big strong muscles of yours -NR_

Okay, Sam could get behind showing off his guns for Nat. She was hot as fuck and she wanted him to show off? That was about as big an ego boost as he could ask for. 

_How about I pick you up and fuck you against the wall? -SW_

_Now you understand. What else are you gonna do to me Sam? -NR_

Sam could feel himself getting hard in his sweats. Shit, she was gonna be the end of him.

_I wanna get my hands on them perfect titties you got. Suck on your nipples until you get all wet -SW_

_I bet you got a big dick - NR_

_You gonna come find out? -SW_

_Well you told me to wait, but I’m omw now -NR_

Suddenly, Sam realized he was short some essentials.

_Not to ruin the mood, but can you grab some condoms on your way? I’m out -SW_

_I pulled your last physical. I know you’re clean. I am too. Plus I can’t get pregnant. We don’t need them -NR_

Sam laughed out loud. Of course Nat would do that. But hey, if everything was taken care of, let’s raw dog it, right?

_Well then bring that tight little ass over here -SW_

_ETA 10 min -NR_

Sam set his phone down on the coffee table and stared at the remainder of his burger, which he suddenly wasn’t planning to finish. He sat on the sofa just kind of thinking about Nat and how this was gonna play out until he remembered the state of his room. 

Fuck. He jumped up and walked to his room, gathering up all the nonsense that was hanging around. It wasn’t as bad as he expected, and he was back on the sofa and trying to be chill when Nat unlocked the door walked in. 

“Hey, there, airman. How’s it hanging?” she asked, locking the door behind herself.

At that second, Sam couldn’t be fucked to figure out where she’d gotten a key to his apartment. He was more concerned with the way that she was sauntering into the living room. His breath whistled out of him. _Everybody’s gotta die, and there are certainly worse ways to go_ , he figured. 

“Better now that you’re here. You wanna take this to the bedroom?” he asked with an assessing smirk.

“Pretty sure there are walls right here,” she replied as she chucked her stuff on the sofa.

Sam gracefully vaulted over the sofa and grabbed her by the hips, pushing her back against the nearest vertical surface. 

Kissing her, Sam nearly forgave Steve for fucking off to who-knew-where without calling first. Nearly.


End file.
